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Valerian film review: Lost (and confused) in space, but still a blast

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Enlarge / Valerian and Laureline, seen here looking like they're trying their best to imagine a romantic plotline that makes more sense than what they were given. (credit: STX Films)

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets could be the most enjoyable 2017 film destined to win a Razzie award. Some of its disparate elements deserve a "bad," "poor," or even "embarrassing" rating. The film strays so far from its comic source material that you might call it treasonous. And it co-stars Rihanna, which, let's face it, has yet to work out well for a Hollywood production.

Even with those issues, I still had a blast. I went into my Valerian screening hoping to get "Luc Besson sci-fi," with elaborate, beautifully illustrated sequences, tongue-in-cheek schlock, and a weirdly French skew on high-octane cinema. Those expectations were met. I laughed, cheered, and roared both at and with the film. Valerian comes packed with just enough Fifth Element flavor to make it worth a solid, low-expectations trip to the movie theater.

Multipass?

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francisga
2 days ago
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Lafayette, LA, USA
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Regression

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Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
You must've been a HIDEOUS baby.

New comic!
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Thanks, everyone. That was an incredibly successful kickstarter. We had some internal goals that were more than doubled. We are working now to deliver those books as fast as possible!

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francisga
3 days ago
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Lafayette, LA, USA
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Dream Inequality

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I swear, I don't mean this comic to harbor any political perspective. I just thought it was funny.

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Thanks so much for your support, geeks. It means so much to us.

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popular
3 days ago
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francisga
4 days ago
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Lafayette, LA, USA
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1 public comment
drchuck
3 days ago
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I am Batman! Whee!
Long Island, NY

Wifi vs Cellular

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According to the cable company reps who keep calling me, it's because I haven't upgraded to the XTREME GIGABAND PANAMAX FLAVOR-BLASTED PRO PACKAGE WITH HBO, which is only $5 more per month for the first 6 months and five billion dollars per month after that.
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francisga
5 days ago
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Read it for the alt text
Lafayette, LA, USA
popular
4 days ago
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10 public comments
CaffieneKitty
3 hours ago
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Unless you live in an apartment building from the 70's, which due to an excess of stucco and rebar are nigh-perfect Faraday cages. (I don't mind not having a cell signal in my apartment so much, but when I get delivery I have to walk with them out to the freaking parking lot to get their 'debit at the door' machine to work. :-P)
emdot
3 days ago
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Same, but at work not at home. (Ironic: since we're on a network backbone.)
San Luis Obispo, CA
Belfong
23 hours ago
Same to me. My work internet sucks. Probably because they throttle.
mrobold
3 days ago
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#same
Orange County, California
endlessmike
3 days ago
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This is definitely not the case in my house. My internet connection is very stable and I have a good enough router that I don't have issues. Meanwhile my cellular data connection is much slower due to it being a popular provider here.
zippy72
4 days ago
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Weirdly this was already true in the UK for 3G and then reversed for 4G. Now I'm in Portugal it's pretty much evens.
FourSquare, qv
satadru
4 days ago
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For me it is connections to wifi outside the house which turn out to be shitty, but yes.
New York, NY
dianaschnuth
4 days ago
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Yes. This.
Toledo OH
schnuth
4 days ago
Yep. :)
llucax
4 days ago
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Pretty much it, except that cellular data still have a cap, which really sucks.
Berlin
Ironica
4 days ago
Technically we have a cap too (well, it throttles after we reach it, rather than cutting off or charging more) but no one in our family has been able to use more than 60% of it in a month. And unused data rolls over, to a cap of 2x the monthly allotment. So I would have to use more than 30 GB in one month to get throttled, and I don't see that happening anytime soon, even though I almost never turn on wifi. (And I almost never turn on wifi because... see above comic!)
JayM
4 days ago
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Ha
Atlanta, GA
alt_text_bot
5 days ago
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According to the cable company reps who keep calling me, it's because I haven't upgraded to the XTREME GIGABAND PANAMAX FLAVOR-BLASTED PRO PACKAGE WITH HBO, which is only $5 more per month for the first 6 months and five billion dollars per month after that.
olliejones
4 days ago
It's actually called "bufferbloat." It's a real thing. It's due to too much RAM (yeah, too much RAM) in your router.

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Taffy

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I am prepared to fight about this, Internet. Come at me.

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Last full day to support the latest launch. Thanks, geeks!

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francisga
5 days ago
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I don't even like FRESHWATER taffy!
Lafayette, LA, USA
MaryEllenCG
4 days ago
I am literally eating a piece of salt-water taffy RIGHT NOW.
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Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Monism

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Personally, I am a triplist because I think we have mind, -except-left-earlobe and left earlobe.

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Just 66 hours left to get Soonish plus two more books for just the retail price of Soonish!

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francisga
6 days ago
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Lafayette, LA, USA
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1 public comment
rclatterbuck
6 days ago
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So, what fraction of a whole person is each ontologically distinct part? We can solve this:

First, we have to know the probability of each person being a monist, dualist, triplist, etc.

1 = sum(Pn)

Each distinct part worth 1/n of a whole person.

So now we just need to figure out sum of the value of each distinct part times the probability that a person is made up of that many distinct parts.

Individual part value = sum(Pn/n) for n = 1 to infinity

I'll leave the determination of Pn and the value of the summation as an exercise to the reader.

But I will point out that this is related to the harmonic series (1/n), and sum(1/n) diverges.
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